I don't understand Lebron James's decision to be #23. Anyone who picks that number is sending a message that they want to be the next Michael Jordan, and that takes a lot of confidence. But why not have enough confidence to say, "Screw Michael, I'm going to make #14 famous!" By choosing Jordan's number, he is sending the message that no matter what he does, he's only an echo of MJ, not his own voice.

MSNBC - Thar she blows! Dead whale explodes - Coolest... article... ever. Until it gets to this part: "Once moved to a nearby nature preserve, the male specimen -- the largest whale ever recorded in Taiwan -- drew the attention of locals because of its large penis, measured at some five feet, the Taipei Times reported.

"More than 100 Tainan city residents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to 'experience' the size of its penis," the newspaper reported.

SI.com - MLB - Pudge on verge of $40M deal with Tigers - Wednesday January 28, 2004 10:33PM You're the starting catcher for the World Series-winning team, a team with so much youth and potential that they could very easily become a dynasty, and at the very least will be competitive for years to come... why would you move from that team to the Tigers, the team that just set the AL record for losses last season? Is it really worth a few more million bucks? You're still going to be retardedly rich either way. I just don't get it.

MSNBC - Deep-sea monster caught on tape - "It’s fairly well-known that the oceans cover approximately two-thirds of Earth’s surface. But consider how thick the living space is in the sea. While life on land rarely reaches above the tallest tree, life in the oceans can exist at many different depths. The deep water below 3,300 feet (1,000 meters) makes up more than 95 percent of the volume of biosphere." - Never thought of that before.

MSNBC - Back to the Front - I guess I can count myself lucky... I'd be pretty happy with either Kerry or Dean winning the nomination, and it doesn't look like anyone else has much of a chance. I like Dean because he defined the anti-war, anti-special interests rhetoric that all the other candidates adopted, which leads me to believe that he's the most sincere about it. Not that that's necessarily true. Meanwhile I like Kerry because he's actually got a more liberal record than Dean. Not that their pasts necessarily indicate how they will run their Presidencies. I also think Kerry's more electable thanks to his stellar military record... especially considering that Dean's military record consists of failing a physical, then going skiing for a year.

In any case, Bush might buy himself this election thanks to the special interests that got him there in the first place. But something tells me he's going out in four years, just like his daddy.

Panthers move past sordid side, into Super Bowl - I forgot the Panthers were such badasses.

MSNBC - Dissecting Howard Dean's implosion - "The other candidates have appropriated Dean’s outsider themes. It remains to be seen if they believe them, if they embody them, or if they can sell them. But they all sound like Howard Dean now. They’re all talking passionately about special interests now. He won, in a way, but the victory may belong to someone else in this crazy race."

CNN.com - Atkins widow in 'fat' spat with NYC mayor - Jan. 23, 2004 - "Atkins, whose diet stresses meat, eggs and cheese over pasta, bread and vegetables..." - I'm sick of reading over and over again in the press that Atkins doesn't want you to eat vegetables. Do a little research, please... or at least read the book. I did, and the diet is all about eating lots of lean meat, eggs, and plenty of non-starchy vegetables like broccoli, lettuce... just about anything besides potatoes and corn. Also, you'll always hear people bashing the diet because they think Atkins wants you to eat a pound of bacon and tons of red meat every day -- definitely not true. Your diet is supposed to mostly consist of poultry, fish, eggs, vegetables, beans, nuts, a limited amount of cheese, and some red meat -- not a lot. Not that it matters; I guess I'm just clinging to the fantasy that the national press would try to be accurate on something semi-important like health.

MSNBC - Kerry surges in N.H. polls ahead of debate - Never thought it would happen, but Kerry's going to be your next President. He's a war hero (big time -- I'd say his war record is better than Clark's, even if he wasn't as high rank), he's got experience, and he's stolen Dean's message (down with special interests) just like all the other nominees. He makes Bush look like a child, which I guess you can't really say about Dean. Dean would be the better President, but Kerry is the better candidate.

CNN.com - Cannabis MS drug 'available soon' - Jan. 21, 2004 - We're going to be the only country where weed is still illegal someday. Except for Libya. I think they suck worse than us.

CNN.com - Cow brain sandwiches still on the menu - Jan. 16, 2004 - Pretty sick.

MSNBC - Starve Your Way to Health - So there's this whole movement of people who starve themselves throughout their lives because they think it will prolong their lives by a decade or two. Personally, I'll take 75 happy, satisfied years over 95 years of falling through sewer grates.

CNN.com - Man evicted after living on golf course for 40 years - Jan. 12, 2004 This guy wins my "Get a Frickin Job" award, especially because: "Bethel turned down a job in course maintenance because he wanted to be self-employed, McKeon said." My favorite quote from the article: "For the last nine years, he had been joined by his wife Francis, 43. They have since relocated to a space under a nearby bridge."

MSNBC - Mexico's president backs Bush - Asked if Bush's plan is the whole enchilada, Fox told NBC News, "It is part of the enchilada, we have to work for more yet. More enchilada." - Apparently, Mexico's chief executive is Speedy Gonzalez.

CNN.com - Black Hawk crash kills 9 in Iraq - Jan. 8, 2004 - "A U.S. Black Hawk helicopter made an 'emergency landing' just south of Fallujah, killing all nine soldiers on board, military officials said." Come on. Just say it. A U.S. helicopter crashed in Iraq today.

CNN.com - Galaxy find stirs Big Bang debate - Jan. 8, 2004 - "With light traveling at 9.5 trillion kilometers in one light year, this means the galaxies are being observed as they appeared 10.8 billion years ago, the statement said." This boggles my mind.

MSNBC - The General's New Stripes - By ABB, I mean Anyone But Bush. I like Dean a lot, but I'd feel pretty good if Clark won the nomination too, partly because it seems like he has more of a shot at winning than Dean. Seriously -- no one in the South is going to vote for a Vermont governor, but they'll vote for a war hero like Clark.

MSNBC - Knicks to get Marbury in multiplayer deal - Forget anything bad I ever said about Isiah Thomas.

MSNBC - The top 10 albums of 2003 - Proof that I am now completely detached from pop culture (and very happy this way, thank you): I haven't heard of any of these albums, or half of the artists who made them.