Yahoo! Sports - NBA - Heat 111, Raptors 96: "'I missed 13 free throws. That's unacceptable. If I want to be accepted by Wilt and Kareem and Russell I've got to start playing better than that. Right now I'm still in the class of Hakeem and David Robinson and that's not good enough for me. I want to be out there with the immortals.''"

OK, on one hand, at least he's admitting that the way he shoots free throws is pathetic for someone who makes millions of dollars to play basketball. But why badmouth D-Rob (sorry) and Hakeem? It's arrogant, obnoxious, and... oh wait, it's Shaq. I wonder if anyone picked up ihateshaq.com after I let it expire...

Fidgeting Fights Obesity, Researchers Say (washingtonpost.com): "...seemingly minor physical activity can make the difference between being lean and obese, researchers reported today."

I am the fidgetiest person you know.

MSNBC - Sharon 'very satisfied' with Palestinian efforts - "Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon said Thursday he is “very satisfied” with Mahmoud Abbas’ efforts to restore calm and that he is eager to resume negotiations with the Palestinian leader."

Just so we're keeping score...

Arafat leading the Palestinians for twenty-something years =




Arafat's death =



If they reach a peace deal over there sometime in the next year or two, that should erase all doubt that Arafat was the one asshole standing in the way, and they should take away his Nobel Peace Prize post-humously. What a dick!

Apparently, Korn has a Greatest Hits album. I remember listening to their first two albums in high school (junior high? It's all a blur...) and being really excited when I heard that their third album was coming (the best one they ever put together, IMHO).

I associate Greatest Hits albums with Aerosmith and Guns 'N' Roses. Am I that old?

For the record, I also dislike pro athletes who are younger than me.

MSNBC - Fear not, these CRACKPOTS can be saved

"Many, if not most, Christians understand the true message of Jesus. But there is a frightening number of so-called Christians who can be best described as creepy, rigid, arrogant, cruel, know-it-all, pompous, obnoxious and treacherous — better known by the acronym C.R.A.C.K.P.O.T.

"These CRACKPOT Christians are nothing new. Throughout history there have been dangerous fools of all persuasions who have perverted religious text for their own selfish purposes. What they like to do, in essence, is force-feed their twisted beliefs on others while hiding behind a respectable label, thereby conning folks into thinking that their mean-spirited behavior is really born out of kindness and generosity."

Finally, someone has come up with a name for these people. Aren't acronyms great?

MSNBC - Free To Be Angry

Pulled directly out of this article:



Caption: 'Not a perfect world': An Iraqi girl screams after her parents are killed by U.S. soldiers in Tal Afar

You're right, Mr. President. Invading Iraq was a good idea. Despite the fact that there weren't any weapons of mass destruction. Despite the thousands of American soldiers who have died and will be killed over the next few years. And despite the hell that Iraq has become for the people who live there. I'm glad you have no regrets.

MSNBC - 'God is healing me,' Eagles' Owens says - “'What a lot of people don’t realize is that I’ve been doing a lot of rehab on my own, a lot of healing on my own, but spiritually God is healing me and I’m way ahead of where a lot of people expect me to be, even the doctor,' Owens said Monday."

I lose all respect for an athlete when he makes two assumptions: a) God is a sports fan, and b) God wants his team to win more than the other one.

MSNBC - Monday, Jan. 24, called worst day of the year: "Wish you could crawl back under the covers and not have to face another day of rain, sleet, snow and paperwork? Probably. After all, it's nearly Jan. 24, the 'most depressing day of the year,' according to a U.K. psychologist.

"Dr. Cliff Arnall's calculations show that misery will peak this Monday."

MSNBC - God Bless America...: "One thing is for certain: Based on an virtually unanimous unwillingness to consider its past mistakes and learn from them, things are going to get far, far worse before they get better. Thousands more will die. (Twenty six yesterday.) Trillions more will be squandered. Millions more will grow to hate and revile the name of the United States of America and prepare to attack us in ways for which our government is resolutely unwilling to prepare. Avoidable catastrophe awaits this nation and its victims during the next four years as we will undoubtedly reap what we have sown."

...the scary this is, I almost always agree with this guy (Eric Alterman). I'm optimistically disagreeing with him here... but still...

Fool's Gold (washingtonpost.com):

"The war in Iraq is in fact a debacle, yet Bush talks about it as if it is going swimmingly. His original aims have been amended a bit -- now it's a grand march toward Middle East democracy. Daily, Americans are losing their lives for . . . well, it's hard to say. A Shiite majority? Sunni participation in the elections? An autonomous Kurdish state? All of these, without question, are issues that have long transfixed the people of Omaha and other cities in America and for which they have gladly sacrificed their sons and daughters.

"Iraq aside, are there other areas in which the administration has done so well that you can say it explains Bush's smile? The economy? Hardly. It's okay; not really terrific and not bad either. It is, though, the recipient of huge and reckless tax cuts, which have spread cash as Tinkerbell does fairy dust. The result has been a burgeoning national debt that can be paid off only if space exploration discovers a planet of suckers willing to buy U.S. bonds.

"Could it be education? Hardly. No Child Left Behind is a nifty slogan and maybe a good idea, but it is not the sort of thing that gets presidents on Mount Rushmore. Conservation? Are you mad? Agriculture? You jest. Maybe it's the way we've been able to stop nuclear proliferation or the way America is now respected around the world. Sorry. Just kidding.

"The disjunction between Bush's performance and his demeanor is shared by much of Washington. The town is now in a celebratory mood, though precisely what is being celebrated is impossible to tell."

Las Vegas weatherman fired after on-air racial slur: "A weekend television weatherman was fired after he made an on-air racial slur about Martin Luther King Jr., station officials said.

Rob Blair of KTNV-TV was delivering the extended forecast Saturday morning when he said: 'For tomorrow, 60 degrees, Martin Luther Coon King Jr. Day, gonna see some temperatures in the mid-60s.'"

Turns out it was an accident. Still... I guess you gotta fire him.

No Ifs, Ands or Butts: Fox's Bottom Line (washingtonpost.com): "Fox felt it had to pixelate the bare bottom of animated tot Stewie in an episode of 'Family Guy' that aired a couple of weeks ago."

Read the article, and tell me this: How soon until the FCC kicks Family Guy off the air for good? And how soon until I move to Canada?

MSNBC - Report: World can end poverty by 2025 - "Global poverty can be cut in half by 2015 and eliminated by 2025 if the world’s richest countries including the United States, Japan and Germany more than double aid to the poorest countries, hundreds of development experts concluded in a report Monday."

It blows me away that this could even be close to true. If that's the case, our world leaders - all of them - are unforgiveable for not doing what they could to make this possible. If greed alone is what is responsible for famine and extreme poverty throughout the world, then we should all be ashamed.

[/rant]

Democrat & Chronicle: Business: "Denise Williams, the Rochester area's newest funeral home owner, is fulfilling a youthful dream.

"When she was an 8-year-old living in the city's 19th Ward, Williams' uncle died suddenly and her mother had taken her children out of school to attend the out-of-town service.

"The activity surrounding the burial had a lasting effect on her.

'To have seen him last so jovial in jeans and a T-shirt and the next time to see him cold but he's all dressed up, and to have been through everything to get to that point, I said I wanted to be a funeral director,' she said. 'Actually, I said I wanted to put people in caskets.'"

Inflation for Beginners

...read this overview of what Stephen Hawking and the rest of those wild 'n' crazy scientists say about the origins of the universe.

MSNBC - Iraq a new terror breeding ground: "Iraq has replaced Afghanistan as the training ground for the next generation of 'professionalized' terrorists, according to a report released yesterday by the National Intelligence Council, the CIA director's think tank.

"Iraq provides terrorists with 'a training ground, a recruitment ground, the opportunity for enhancing technical skills,' said David B. Low, the national intelligence officer for transnational threats. 'There is even, under the best scenario, over time, the likelihood that some of the jihadists who are not killed there will, in a sense, go home, wherever home is, and will therefore disperse to various other countries.'"

Proud recipient of the Obvious News Trophy for today...

MSNBC - In Baghdad cafe debate, elections win: "Not to be outdone, a smiling Suheil Yassin jumped in. 'It's one of my wishes to die at the gate of the polling station,' he said, a gesture that was self-consciously dramatic. 'I want to be a martyr for the ballot box.'"

It seems like everybody in Iraq wants to be a matryr for something. What ever happened to, you know, living?

MSNBC - Patriots letting Gillette Field get sloppy: "The Colts, 4-3 this season when playing outside, felt temperatures dip below 65 degrees only twice. Indoors, they're 9-1."

I didn't think about that. Can I take back the money I bet on the upset?

MSNBC - Search for WMD in Iraq ended: "The hunt for biological, chemical and nuclear weapons in Iraq has come to an end nearly two years after President Bush ordered U.S. troops to disarm Saddam Hussein. The top CIA weapons hunter is home, and analysts are back at Langley."

It seems like most people don't even remember that this is why we went to war in the first place - at least, that's what we were told. It's been obvious for a long time now that there were no weapons, but isn't now the time for an apology from George W. Bush? If he would just say, "I'm sorry I got you into this quagmire for no reason whatsoever. I'm especially sorry to the families of the over 1,000 soldiers whose deaths I am directly responsible for. I had pictured our troops swooping into Iraq, discovering nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons by the truckload, and installing a new democratic government with the full support of the grateful citizens of Iraq. I refused to listen to anyone who warned me that, in reality, nothing even remotely similar would happen. From now on, I will try to base my decisions on facts and actual knowledge instead of ideology." ...that would make me feel a lot better. Something tells me I shouldn't hold my breath.

I made my not-even-close-to-world-famous chili last night, but with a key addition that made it the best chili ever. It also just happens to be really easy to make, and surprisingly delicious. So, here's the first recipe I've ever written.

Ingredients:

- 1 lb. ground beef
- 1/2 large white onion, chopped into half-rings
- 1 green pepper, chopped into medium-size chunks
- 2 normal-size cans of any kind of beans - I usually use black and either kidney or pinto
- 3 normal-size cans of diced tomatoes
- 1/4 cup corn starch
- Spices: Black pepper, cayenne pepper, chili powder, garlic powder, salt. Optional: Frank's Red Hot Sauce
- Optional: A few jalopeno peppers, chopped
- 1 can of cold, delicious Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (alternatively, you can combine 33 fine brews into one can -- but just buying Pabst will save you a lot of time. Trust me - it's blended, and it's splendid)

Throw the beef and onions into a big pan and fry 'em up until the beef is done (no more red). Make sure to keep grinding the meat up with the spatula so it's not in big chunks. Drain the fat, and throw the mixture into a big pot. Add the green pepper, beans, tomatoes, and the optional-yet-tasty jalopenos to the mix. Stir 'er up, and turn the stovetop to medium-low. In a little mixing bowl, combine the corn starch with 1/4 cup cold water -- stir it with a fork until it's completely mixed. Dump into the pot and stir.

Now it's time to season it up - for this, I have no exact measurements to offer. It depends on how hot you want it. You definitely want at least two tablespoons of chili powder. As for the rest of it, season to taste -- start low, then as it's cooking, taste it, add more if you think it needs it. Go nuts with the garlic powder and black pepper. Frank's is a nice addition if you have it, but not necessary.

Finally: Open your can of Pabst. A quiet moment of reflection might be appropriate at this point. Whenever you're ready, take a large swig from the can, then pour the rest into the pot. As it empties into the pot, you might feel inspired to recite the Pabst Song:

I may have missed the digiridoo
But now I'm here to drink fine brew
To share high fives and good ol' times...
Pabst Blue Ribbon!

Cook at medium-low heat for about two hours, uncovered, stirring often. Enjoy!

MSNBC - Doctor brings a tear to man's eye

Try and read this story without throwing up. I almost didn't make it.

MSNBC - Page 2: Diet and Genes: "Curcumin [an ingredient in curry] reduces the action of a number of genes that promote inflammation, which is linked to heart disease, colon cancer and Alzheimer's. 'It's probably no coincidence that India has the lowest incidence of Alzheimer's in the world,' says Sally Frautschy, a professor of neurology at UCLA, who studies turmeric together with her husband and colleague, Greg Cole. 'What I hear from the pharmaceutical industry,' says Cole, 'is 'What are you trying to do, ruin us?' '"

Stupid curry. Why can't the cure for Alzheimer's turn out to be ribeye steaks or something?

MSNBC - Sticking Together: "You don't have to believe in conspiracy theories to condemn what happened in Ohio. Sen. Hillary Clinton pointed out that while we're the oldest democracy, India is the largest democracy. Using electronic voting machines, 550 million people went to the polls in India, 'threw out the existing government, and they did it with integrity.' In America, when we go to the ATM or buy a lottery ticket, paper backup is routine. Yet when Clinton and Florida Sen. Bob Graham cosponsored a bill that would have required a verifiable paper audit for voting machines, the GOP leadership wouldn't give them a hearing."

How can fraud get any more obvious? Why else would the Republicans block attempts to back up the election results with a paper trail? You don't try to hide the truth unless you're afraid of it.

MSNBC - Tsunami death toll rises to more than 147,000: "'I think we have to be aware that very, very many of the victims have been swept away and many, many will not reappear,' U.N. humanitarian chief Jan Egeland said in New York. 'The 150,000 dead figure is a very low figure. It will be much bigger.'"

So what I'm wondering is: Is this the biggest disaster ever to hit mankind? Like, ever? It's completely possible, I'd think. Even the Ice Ages probably can't match up to this, since there weren't really all that many people. I could probably look this up, but instead I'll just ask about it, rhetorically, in my blog that nobody reads.

MSNBC - Bush Needs to Lead on Tsunami: "Contrast the slow response time to Bush's lickety-split reaction when a series of hurricanes hit Florida during the campaign."

There are no voters in Southeast Asia.

MSNBC - 'Spam King' agrees to stop invading PCs: "Stanford Wallace and his companies, SmartBot.net Inc. of Richboro, Pa., and Seismic Entertainment Productions Inc. of Rochester, N.Y., are required by the agreement to send online ads only to people who visit their Web sites."

Of course he'd be working out of Rochester. If he's ever anywhere near me, and I figure out who he is, I'll kill him with whatever pointy object I have on me at the time.